Writing To Ron
by cinderella200
Summary: A series of letters between Ron Weasley, and several weird organizations, including PureBloods United, The Reality Check Corporation and The Association Of Magical Teenagers.Includes diary entries by RonBased on 'Feeling Sorry For Celia'Jaclyn Moriarty
1. Part 1

A/N- Yes, I know, the last thing I should be doing is writing pathetic little weird things when I have two multi- chaptered fics still unfinished. But the last time my writers block got this bad I wrote 'Smile' and that kick- started me off again, so lets hope this does the same. I'd like reviews, if you have time, feedbacks always appreciated, of course. Enjoy.

A/N2- This story needs an explanation, or I doubt you guy's will get it. It's based on the book- 'Feeling Sorry For Celia' by Jaclyn Moriarty. No I don't own it. But it's a fucking great book, so read it!! Anyway, it's a series of letters between Ron and weird organizations, like, The Association Of Magical Teenagers, and, PureBloods United. And some diary entries from Ron. Yeah, I know, sounds totally weird unless you've read the book, but give it a try. Anyway, enjoy the story, and if you're gonna flame, please make them amusing.

DISCLAIMER**:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, Jaclyn Moriarty and various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, Macmillan Books and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  

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Dear Mr Weasley, 

                It has recently come to our attention that you are in fact, a terrible teenager, and a disgrace to their name. For example, your best friend, only happens to be the most famous teenage wizard in the world! And you are…? Oh yes, the ginger kid in the background. Oooh, how wonderful for you! And by the way, when was the last time you had a girlfriend? Oh, yes… NEVER. You've been too busy pining for that best friend of yours haven't you? Hermione, the bookworm/ geek of the school. You know, if you were a REAL teen wizard, you would have made your move on her the second after the Yule ball. But instead, you continue to allow her to write to that ridiculously tall Bulgarian. Oh, smooth move Ronald, let the girl you love go off with the most famous quidditch player of our time! We can see your clever strategy there! Real teenagers would not allow this sort of thing to happen would they?? Trouble is, you're not a REAL teen wizard are you? More a pathetic excuse for one. After much deliberation on our part, we have decided it would be best for you, and us, if you would discontinue tarnishing our name, and lock yourself in a broom cupboard until your teenage years are over, and you have got over your ridiculous crush on your best friend. We feel this would be best for all parties concerned, as you're not really much use to anyone in the **_real_** world are you?

Thank You.

Yours Sincerely.

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            It has recently come to our attention that you are in fact in love with your best friend, Hermione Granger! How absolutely wonderful for you!! This is perhaps one of the most ridiculously far- fetched possibilities we have encountered in our line of business! Not, only that, but you have done absolutely nothing to make your feelings known to anyone, even the Mr Harry Potter, who you are in fact meant to tell everything! Fantastic! You are at this very moment we believe, watching, while Ms Granger writes to Mr Krum. Your love rival! Who is a world famous Quidditch player? Wonderful! After several discussions, we have decided we would be thrilled if you would consider joining our organization!

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.  

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Well, we have been informed of your predicament. Interesting… very interesting. You see, while teenagers often fall for their best friend, you have gone one step further, by deliberately arguing with her, and being downright mean. This does in fact, classify as a Love- Hate relationship, even if it is slightly one- sided. We have been told the particulars- (Love rival, Intense denial of the truth, etc,) and are fascinated. We would love to hear of your progress, as we feel it would be a welcome addition to our archives. In love with your best friend, so you pretend you cannot stand her… Brilliant. We look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

P.S- Are you planning on letting anyone know your feelings any time soon? We feel the tortured soul look suits you, but we feel this may be ruined if you tell Mr Potter. We suggest you keep your unrequited love secret, and guard it with your life, for maximum effect.    

Dear Diary,

                  Oh dear. I am writing in a diary. And I'm a guy. The biggest humiliation possible. I mean, I meant to throw it away, but then Hermione went on at me about how I need 'an outlet for my emotions' and how diaries 'can be surprisingly good confidantes.' So here I am. At 2 o' clock in the morning, spilling my guts… to a book. Again- Oh dear. 

Yeah, so anyway, how was my day? Well, it was quite crap really. I was sitting there, in the common room right? And Harry's talking and Hermione's writing. And I just assume she's writing this HUGE essay or something. Seriously, loads of parchment. And then I ask her what she's doing. And guess what? She's writing a LETTER. And who is she writing this bloody novel to? Viktor Bloody Krum. Is that a kick in the bollocks or what? I mean, it's not like I care or anything, if she wants to write massive letters to guys, but why him? He's so… stupid. I mean. Has the guy ever actually smiled? Or laughed? Or made her laugh? Can he beat her at chess, without annoying her? Does he even know her that well? No. I bet he doesn't even know what her favourite food is. Shepherds Pie. And I bet he doesn't know that when she's thinking really hard her nose crinkles. Or that she hates fish fingers. And that her favourite book isn't 'Hogwarts- A History', like most people think. It's some weird muggle book- Pride And Prejudice. Dunno what it's about, but I know it's her favourite. She told me once, when we had a row. That's when she tells me most things actually. When we're shouting at each other. That's when it all comes out. She doesn't tell me things normally. She bottles it up. Or maybe she has an  'outlet for her emotions' too. I'd love to read it. Her diary, I mean. Huh, she'd kill me though. Not that she's that far from wanting to anyway. We don't get on that well, really… now that I think about it. She thinks I'm a bit stupid I think. And I am I suppose… compared to her, I mean. But she says it a lot. We don't really get on very well at all actually. But I still call her my best friend. Weird, that is. 

Ron.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We have recently been informed from our contacts at the Love- Hate Relationship Office, that you are in love with your best friend. We immediately looked into this, and were bewildered beyond all reason. Are you aware this young lady is in fact, Muggle Born? Surely this is some error on your part? You do realize there are very few of your kind left?? If you were to… "get it on" with this young lady, the repercussions would be ridiculous. As you know, our organization fights for the continuity of purebloods, and I feel it necessary to inform you- you are not making our job any easier! I suggest you desist this infatuation immediately. If my contacts at the Association Of Magical Teenagers are to be believed, you haven't got much of a chance with her anyway.

Thank You.

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United. 

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Wow! Did you do well today or what? Huh? In potions, you yelled at Hermione so much, she didn't talk to you for at least an hour! And why was that? You yelled at her because she was trying to help you. Brilliant! You really **_are_** a special case. We haven't had one like you in years! Looking through the archives, you're rivalled only by classics, like Lily and James Potter! How fabulous for you! Oh, and just so you know, for that split second, when you shouted, and she paused before yelling back. That was because she had to get rid of the lump in her throat. Yes Ronald, **_you almost made her cry_**. Again, marvellous. Really fantastic.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Director,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             You know, Hermione might like you too, and have the same Love- Hate vibe going on. You know, for a second at breakfast earlier, when you muttered something rude about Snape, she didn't tut, or moan, or have a go at you. She caught your eye and smiled. Isn't that something? Huh? I mean you made her grin! Something, which that Krum guy has yet to do, right? So maybe, just maybe, you're actually getting somewhere!!

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society 

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Yeah right.

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.  

AN- Ok… So, that's part 1. Erm… I wanna see what you guys think before I post up the next bit… so review please? Thanks.

**Cinderella200 x**


	2. Part 2

PART 2 

Dear Diary,

                  Oh. My. God. What is wrong with that girl? She has a problem. Seriously. She can't bear watching someone make mistakes for themselves. She just has to interfere. Every time. It does my head in. OK, so, today in Potions, she's sitting there, looking smug, the first one to finish, and I'm fucking up my one, of course. An I can feel her eyes on me, and I can tell she's dying to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Absolutely dying to tell me. And there's no way im gonna ask for her help, because… well, because. And in the end right, she just- explodes.

**_"Oh my god Ron! It's not hard! Just add the eel!!"_**

****

Well of course, I just went mad. Wouldn't you? I mean, she could at least try to be polite!! But no, of course not… she had to go all out. She's so bloody rude. So anyway I went a bit mad. 

"Some of us have lives! We don't just sit around reading up on Potions to suck up to Snape!"

****

So yeah, we're having this yelling match, and Harry just stands there, not saying a word. (Great huh?) And she gets really annoyed, and so do I, and then Snape gets involved, and gives us both a detention. Idiot. And then of course, I've tarnished her wonderful record, so she won't speak to me. And Harry nudges me later on, and tells me she's about to cry. Yeah. Sure. As if. She's really gonna cry 'cos I had a go at her, isn't she? Harry Potter. Nice kid. Not too bright. 

Ron.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Fantastic!! Absolutely bloody fantastic!! Wow, when you screw up, you really go the whole way don't you?? Fabulous. Marvellous. Superb. But really, you are a bit stupid aren't you? I mean, isn't it obvious she likes you? If she was almost in tears because you yelled at her, then it stands to reason. But I suppose… that's your secret isn't it? To being a loser? I mean, you are so totally and utterly gormless.

Keep it up!

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.  

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Ok… so, just when we think you can't embarrass us even more… you make a girl cry. Well, nearly. But that's not the point. I mean, come on. Do you have any idea how painful your life is? Painfully awful. Really. You like a girl. So you make her cry? What kind of cretin are you? Oh, I suppose you think having a crush makes you a **_real_** teenager huh? Yeah, sure, so you have a crush, but seriously… so what? I mean, have you had sex yet Ron? Huh? Have you even kissed a girl before? Didn't think so. Pathetic. Why the hell are you wasting your time? I bet Hermione did **_loads _**of stuff with Viktor Krum. And Fred and George too! You couldn't tell you're related could you? I mean, they had definitely had girlfriends by the time they were 15! Loads of them!! And what's your grand total so far? Oh yes, **NONE**. Once again, we urge you, **_please_**, just, lock yourself away, and don't emerge until you're 18.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            That was amazing!!! Wow! I cannot believe you did that! you are some guy! It was incredible! The way you just sat there in front of her for ages, and then just… **_said sorry._** And in a fantastically cute way too! "I know you only try to help, and I know I'm an idiot. And I'm sorry about the detention. But hey, you get to spend it with me, right?" **_Bloody brilliant_**. You are the man!!! And just think… in a few days, in the detention, you'll be alone. Together. Oh the possibilities!! 

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Don't even bother getting your hopes up about the detention you've got coming up. Just don't bother. Cos come on, what's gonna happen, really? Ooh, lets look at last time you two had a detention together shall we? How'd it go? Oh yes, you sat in total silence, while you kept staring at her, then looking away every time she turned around. Wow. Sexy. How could she resist the non- looks of Ron Weasley? You know this detention could be the big break you've been waiting for. If you actually had any **_guts_**.

Thank You.

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation. 

Dear My Weasley,

                             It has come to our attention that you are still hopelessly infatuated with the muggle – born Hermione Granger. Oh dear. As we see it, this can only be due to one of two reasons-

1) 1) Our last letter did not reach you for some reason.

2) 2) You are an imbecile. 

You should give up **_now_**. Quit while your ahead boy! By ahead, I mean she hasn't found out yet, and laughed in your face. Because trust me, that will happen. So, stop it. You are embarrassing. There is no shortage of perfectly suitable pure blood witches around you, who are all perfectly likeable. Not as bright as Ms Granger of course, but still. They are pure blood. Once again, I urge you, **_give up_**. This will only end in tears. Or hexes. Carry on the pure blood title for heavens sake. You embarrassment.

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

_Ron,_

_       Dumbledore sent for me. I dunno why. You'll probably be asleep when I get back. See you in the morning. By the way, are you and Hermione talking?_

_Harry.___

**_HARRY,_**

**_          WHY'S DUMBLEDORE WANNA SEE YOU NOW? YEAH, TELL ME TOMMOROW. COS I'LL BE ASLEEP. I'm KNACKERED. AND I THINK MIONE AND ME ARE OK. I DUNNO. I SAID SORRY, SO WE SHOULD BE. IF WERE NOT, THEN SHE'S JUST BEING STUPID. SEE YOU IN THE MORNING._**

****

**_RON                           _**

****

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             It has been brought to our attention that you recently apologised to Ms Granger, and to our disbelief, it went well, and you are now speaking. Oh dear. This is not suitable behaviour for a member of our society, and it is with great regret that I wish to withdraw our offer to invite you join our society.

Apologies,

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.  

P.S- a TRUE loser wouldn't have apologized, but would have sat moping around, and acting in a generally idiotic manner. You didn't do that Ron. Where's your pride? You have to make us proud. Come on boy.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Don't start getting your hopes up just because she's talking to you. So what? No biggie, you're best friends, your meant to talk. But what's this we hear? Oh yes, she got a letter this morning didn't she? From who? Oh, Viktor Krum! Yes Ron, Viktor. The one she's kissed, and all the rest. She's probably even had sex with him. Viktor. The one with experience. What would you do if a girl came on to you Ron, huh? Would you even know what to do? Do you even know what **_'come on to'_** means? We doubt it.

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Diary

                Right, so today, I got paired with Hermione in Transfiguration. And we talked. About stuff. Like, I told her I was sorry, and everything. (Again) and you know what she did? She turned around and did that really cute thing she does with her eyes. And she goes- "Ron, you don't have to keep apologizing. It's only a detention. I overreacted. Now can we please get back to work?" 

How cool is that huh? So we're cool now. Which is a relief, cos I HATE it when she's mad at me.

Whoa. Recap. What did I just write?

I **_hate_** it when she's mad at me.

Erm… right. What the hell?? Since when? Why the hell did I put that? I don't hate it! It's just annoying! That's all. We row loads, I'm used to it. We always make up in the end. It's no biggie. I don't **_hate_** it. I just find it irritating is all. Cos she has a way of making me feel really small. Like I don't matter. And she ignores me. It's not that I **_hate_** her ignoring me. I hate being ignored in general. By anyone. I just don't like being ignored. By anyone. Not just Mione. Anyone. I don't hate it more when it's Mione ignoring me. I hate it equally.

Ron.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Excellent. Even in your diary, you still maintain that wonderful air of denial. You cant even admit to a book you're in love with her can you? Fantastic. Absolutely Classic.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

Review People!!!!


	3. Part 3

A/N- Whoa. I have had a pretty damn good reaction to this story. And it's pretty easy to write. So, thanks for all the lovely reviews, and lets hope this gets my other two stories back on track.

Enjoy.

PART 3

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Ok… so, you've got to stay up tonight to do your Transfiguration, haven't you? And Hermione's offered to help you out with it. So that's just great. You know, this is quite cool. You'll be alone, together, at about midnight. What you gonna do Ron? You gonna make your move on her? Or you gonna sit their and do your homework while staring at her? Hmmm, we wonder. The suspense is killing us… or not. You wont do anything will you? No, course you wont. You dick.

Thanks.

Yours sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Good luck! You're gonna be alone! Before the detention! Unexpected or what, huh? You are soooo close!! This is it! She is going to be with you, alone… this is the kind off opportunity that comes along every few months or so. But this time, you're gonna make the most of it aren't you? Because this time, you're sure aren't you? You really love her don't you? So you're gonna go for it aren't you? Finally!!

Good luck!

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Oh my god. Get real. As if you'll do anything. You're so close Ronald! Come on, screw this up, and we'll welcome you with open arms! You've only got a little way to go! Come on! Just sit alone with her for a few hours, and don't act on your feelings! Easy! You've done it countless times before! Once more, and you're a member! Come on old boy!!

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.  

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Don't lose your nerve Ronald! Don't you lose it now! Tonight, IS the night.

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Tonight's the night huh? The night for WHAT? The night to be a MORON??

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING ABOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. JUST… DON'T.

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

**_Ron,_**

**_       What were all those owls you got this morning? This is so boring. Are you making any notes? Or you just gonna copy your girlfriend again? _****_J_****__**

**_Harry._**

****

****

****

**_Harry,_**

**_          Bite me. And since when have I EVER listened to Binns? Owls? They were just from mum and stuff._**

**_Ron._**

****

****

****

**_Ron and Harry,_**

**_                        Don't think I'll let you copy my notes this time!!! Because I wont! You stop writing notes to each other NOW, and listen to Binns ok???_**

**_Hermione._**

****

****

****

**_Hermione,_**

**_                Ok. Sorry. Calm down. I'll take notes._**

**_Harry._**

****

****

****

**_Hermione,_**

**_                Whoa. Ok. Just take a minute to breathe yeah? We wont copy you ok? Just calm down. Relax. Be cool._**

**_Ron._**

****

  


**_PS- You still gonna help me with Transfiguration today?_**

****

****

****

**_Ron,_**

**_       Yes I am. You are so strange. Why cross it out? _**

**_Hermione._**

****

****

**_Mione,_**

**_          Dunno._**

****

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Yeah, she called you strange. Ha! Marvellous! She's almost responding to your love/hatred. Fantastic! You know… this is really quite classic. I tell you what would really set it off…if you had a HUGE row tonight. How about you try that out yeah? Great. Super.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

**_Ron,_**

        I'm sorry, but I forgot I had an Arithmancy evening tutorial session. I can't miss it, it's really important. Can we do the Transfiguration another day?

**_Love Mione._**

Dear Diary,

                  I'm not in the mood to write anything right now. Why have a diary when my life is this crappy? 

Ron.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Told you so.

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Oh. Well… Better luck next time? You've still got… the detention?

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society. 

Dear Diary,

                  Ok. So I lied. I do feel like writing in you. Cos I'm gonna go mad if I don't tell someone. Or something. And I don't care how much of a goon I sound, because my life is so shit I don't see why I should bother trying to be anything but what I am. A total dick.

Yeah. Anyway, Hermione and me didn't stay up and do the Trans. Homework. Or anything else. Cos she had some crappy Arithmancy class to go to. A study session or something. Typical Hermione, isn't it? No, she didn't cancel on me for some cute guy, or shopping, or a girls night or whatever. No, she had an evening study session. It's almost funny. In a painful, gut wrenching kind of way. I actually care that I didn't get to spend some time alone with her. I was actually looking forward to it. As in… I wanted to spend time with her. Just to sit with her. Be with her. Just for a bit. I thought when we both became prefects, it would mean more time together, but it turns out practically all the time you're on duty, but with other prefects too. So nothing really changed.  We were still never alone. And I don't know what's wrong with me, but I like it when it's just her and me. I like being alone with her. Harry's great, but Hermione's… different. I love spending time alone with her.

I love spending time with her.

I love her.

Shit.

Ron.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             We see the denial has finally disintegrated, into what appears to be a lovesick puppy attitude. Very well, although this puts a slight dampener, it does not destroy the basis of the relationship; therefore we will still be happy to include you in our archives. Not necessarily under 'Classics.' But perhaps 'Unusuals.' Or 'Miscellaneous.' Let us know your preference. However, if you continue to pick fights, cause arguments, and generally behave in a retarded manner, we would be happy to reconsider your 'Classics.' Status.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             The Association Of Magical Teenagers has brought your latest situation to our attention. We immediately felt the need to let our feelings be known to you. And they are as follows-

Hey, hey!! Nice one! You were stood up!! For a study session!! And it wasn't even a proper date!! You are once again- THE MAN! We welcome you back with open arms, oh wondrous one!! You are without a doubt, the most promising potential candidate we have had in years!! Neville Longbottom is perhaps your only rival! You keep it up Ronald, and you let us know your position on joining!!

Thank You.

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We have recently been engaged in several discussions with The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else. And guess who's name cropped up? We have only one thing to say to you Ronald.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

PS- That broom cupboard starting to look pretty good now, huh?

Review peeps!!!!


	4. Part 4

PART 4

****

****

****

**_Ron,_**

**_       Are you annoyed with me?_**

****

**_Hermione._**

Hermione,

                No.

Ron.

**_Ron,_**

**_       Because I've said I'm sorry, and we can always do the Trans. another time ok??_**

****

**_Hermione._**

****

Hermione,

               I'm not annoyed with you,

Ron.

**_Harry,_**

**_         I think Ron's annoyed with me._**

****

**_Hermione._**

Hermione,

                Well, ask him.

Harry.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             It has been a week of events for you hasn't it? Indeed it has. And yet, despite all this, your progress is non- existent! Fantastic! You really are giving it your all aren't you? Fantastic! Maybe your position in 'Classics' isn't completely lost!

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

STUDENT NOTICEBOARD.

Hey people!!!!

I have a Hufflepuff first year in my possession who owes me his life. He will do odd jobs for you, including completing assignments, stealing Potions ingredients, delivering love letters and hexing your enemies. Very stupid, but works like a house elf. Leave your name at the bottom and I'll get back to you.

1 Hufflepuff Slave- 25 galleons.

**WILL THE STUDENT WHO POSTED THIS NOTICE REPORT TO MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. SLAVERY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THIS SCHOOL.**

**PROFESSOR SNAPE.**

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             Enclosed is the first part of your information pack! Enjoy.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

                        **The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life And **

**                               Pretty Much Everything Else Handbook.**

**Hey fellow Loser!!!**

**       Welcome to the Board. This is your first step to becoming a fully- fledged member of the Society!! Great huh? Ok, so, the first thing to do, is to fill your name in all the blank spaces ok??? Can you do that??? Great!!! Go ahead!!!**

Hey _Ron        _! How are you today? Not good? Wow, _Ron        _tell us what's wrong! And include EVERYTHING. Don't forget to tell us how pathetic and worthless you feel! Remember, we know how you feel!! So go ahead_ Ron        _! Tell us about your day!!

_Ron        _'s Day-

_Fuck off._

Wow! Really? That's pretty bad!! Are you serious??? That's kinda loser- ish isn't it?? But still are you sure that's all _Ron        _? Nothing else?

_Fuck you._

We thought so!!!! Well done, we guess you wrote down things people said to you, and how you mucked up a lesson, and tripped in front of some hot person you fancy right?? But did you tell us the little things_ Ron        _? Like how you felt like a retard at breakfast cos you spilt something. Or how your hair really sucks? Or the look on the hot persons face when they saw you fall? Or how you felt this morning and saw yourself in the mirror for the first time this morning? Huh? Didn't think so! Try again _Ron        _!

_I can't believe I'm even writing in this. I have hit rock bottom._

That's better!!! See _Ron            _ that was easy wasn't it??? A quick, simple, painless exercise, just to get you on the road to joining the Board!! Now, don't forget to take a little break before moving onto chapter 2, ok??? 

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We recently procured the information you have received an information pack from out friends and The Board Of Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else. Oh dear. As if this wasn't enough incentive to get into the broom cupboard. We thought you would take the hint after Ms Granger stood you up on your non- date. Excuse us while we die laughing.

…………

However, we have also received a letter from the Love- Hate Relationship Office, informing us of the upcoming detention, and the fact Ms Granger has apologized profusely since the non- date. This is hardly ground- breaking, encouraging news, however, we are a fair society, and are willing to offer you advice. But don't expect it to work. Seeing as our information is written to help NORMAL teenagers.

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                             I regret to inform you we are becoming increasingly concerned about your continuing erratic behaviour regarding Ms Granger. For example, today, at lunch, when Mr Malfoy insulted her, instead of standing back and allowing the generally heroic Mr Potter to deal with the situation, you stepped forward and hexed Mr Malfoy, before releasing a string of unprintable words. Now, this alone would be tolerable, however the preceding events were totally unacceptable!! Ms Granger had left the hall in a distressed state, and what did you do Mr Weasley? You followed her. You missed a meal, something which you have not done since the age of seven, and why? A muggle born. Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. And after finding Ms Granger in an abandoned classroom, you proceeded to comfort her. BY HUGGING HER. We of the committee are at our wits end as to how to deal with this situation. Please Mr Weasley, as a last resort, we are appealing to your good nature. LEAVE MS GRANGER ALONE. IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. WE HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THIS MATTER, TRUST US.

Many thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We saw that! You legend you! Running after her, risking detention, giving her a hug, you old dog you!! Fantastic show! Bloody brilliant!!

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Oooh. You hugged her. Wow. That's pretty much having sex with her isn't it?? Oooh, you're in there! Are you feeling the sarcasm Ron??? Are you??? Huh????

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

Dear Diary,

                  Ok, so, today was Weird. I was really off with Mione, cos she deserved it. But then she kept on saying sorry, so I thought it'd be a bit mean to keep ignoring her. So we were talking, like normal, and getting on fine.

Yeah, so then at lunch Malfoy walks past, and started on her. Yeah, I know, weird, not Harry, or me, but her. He normally leaves her alone unless she says something. So anyway he was having a go at her about some stupid random thing that happened in Potions, and she just said something back, and he GOT HIS WAND OUT. Yeah, idiot, he was gonna hex her!! So of course, I had my wand in my hand anyway, so I disarmed him. I didn't even really think, y'know, I just did it. And she was really upset, cos Malfoy, the slimeball, said some really mean things, so she skipped lunch. And I went and looked for her… because. And I found her, and she was crying. It was fucking horrible, I could have killed Malfoy, really. So I went and gave her a hug… and it was so weird. Cos I wasn't too sure whether I should or not, I was just doing that stupid pat- on- the- back thing, but then she looked so upset I just decided what the fuck, I'll go for it. 

She's really cuddly. 

Ron.                             

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Aaaaaaawwwww. You know what Ron Weasley. You RULE! You make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like candy floss. And other fluffy things. 

Thanks. 

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Oh. My. God. Pass me the sick bucket. After you've filled it with water and DROWNED YOURSELF IN IT YOU LOSER. 

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

Review pLz!


	5. Part 5

A/N- I apologize for the huge amount of time this has taken to upload. I hope it hasn't put you off the story too much. Please review.

PART 5 

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Your detention with Ms Granger is tonight. We have realized our efforts to persuade you against your plan of action are fruitless due to your lack of intelligence. This, we should have foreseen. However, we have one last admonition for you before we watch the series of events- it is this.

Hermione Granger is the brightest girl in the school. She is your best friend. She is also Harry Potters best friend. She is the frame holding your delicate friendship group together. Without her you **WILL** fall apart Mr Weasley. You cannot expect Mr Potter to choose between the two of you. If you are rebuffed by Ms Granger, which is highly likely, you will not be speaking. Mr Potter will not be able to choose. Therefore it follows logically that your little trio will disband. If you are willing to risk the loss, go ahead. The choice is in your hands, and we can only hope you will consider the consequences meticulously, before you choose to act.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

To -- PureBloods United, The Chairman,

                                                       We would appreciate it if your interference in the Weasley- Granger situation would cease immediately. We happen to have solid evidence that Ms Granger's birthright has no effect on Mr Weasley. He happens to be in love with her. We are unsure as to whether at any point in your lives any of you have managed to pull your heads out of your arses long enough to be in love, but if you had, you would realize your efforts to dissuade Mr Weasley are quite simply, stupid. To phrase it in teen- speak-

It's not gonna happen.

Mr Weasley is going to get the girl. We feel it. We also feel that you are really quite useless and need to get a real job.

Many Thanks.

Yours, rather irritated, and already quite anxious enough without your interference,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Admitting your love to Ms Granger this evening will seriously jeopardise your position in 'Classics'. Love- Love relationships don't count. Just a word of warning.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            It has been brought to our attention by the Association of Magical Teenagers that you have ceased writing in our information pack, and it is lying under your bed. We can only hope this is simply a lapse in concentration, and you will pick it up presently. We also feel it is our duty to tell you The Hopeless Romantic Society has somewhat of a reputation for fabricating stories and brainwashing its clients into believing they have a chance with the object of their affections. We realize they have been writing to you, and feel we should warn you, so you are not caught up in the moment this evening, and end up doing something stupid. And we don't mean loser- stupid, which we like. We mean Stupid- Stupid.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

Dear Diary,

                 I'm quite nervous. There, I've said it, so leave me alone. I'm nervous about the detention. I don't know why, Hermione and me have had tons of opportunities to talk alone. But this time it's different. That bloody hug has demented everything. All of a sudden I can't even sit next to her in lessons without feeling uncomfortable. And it doesn't end there. On prefect duty, I find myself walking down the corridor with her, and staring at her. And then, horror of all horrors, she notices, and asks what's wrong! Good god, what a conversation that'd be. I can picture it perfectly-

"What's wrong?"

"I am hopelessly in love with you, you absolute idiot. In all your reading, and revising, and with a mind like yours, have you failed to notice that I can't stop thinking about you, and can't behave normally around you? I am in love with you, my best friend."

"Oh."

****Hermione runs away screaming

Great, huh?

Ron.

Dear Mr Potter,

                        We are writing to you about a rather delicate matter, which we would appreciate you keeping to yourself. Enclosed are confidential papers from our archives, which we feel will be of interest of you, and possibly persuade you to help us. We are sure you are aware of your best friends predicament. They are in love with each other. Therefore, we feel we need some help. From 'the other best friend'. After reading the enclosed papers we would be most grateful if you would have a pep talk with Mr Weasley before his detention. We would be eternally grateful. We would also appreciate you sending the papers back, we could get into considerable trouble if they fell into the wrong hands.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

PS- That Ginny Weasley's a lovely girl isn't she? And doesn't she look stunning at the moment? She's really blossomed, eh?

**ARCHIVED RECORDS OF THE WEASLEY- GRANGER RELATIONSHIP.**

**PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL**

Footnotes, extracts, anecdotes etc.

1) 1) Mr Weasley has recently procured a diary, which we feel is promising.

2) 2) He Has admitted he may have feelings for Ms Granger in the diary-

 I HATE it when she's mad at me.

Whoa. Recap. What did I just write?

I **_hate_** it when she's mad at me.

3) 3) Mr Weasley has continued the diary extract by stating he does not hate it when Ms Granger is mad at him, but when anyone is mad at him. However we have reassurance from The Love- Hate Relationship Office, that this is a simple case of denial, and will disintegrate shortly. We can but wait.

4) 4) Mr Weasley has today failed to meet Ms Granger for a study session. She had a tutorial instead. Although at first glance, this seems negative, it has in fact, had a positive after effect. Mr Weasley has finally admitted he is in love with Ms Granger. This can only be good.

5) 5) PureBloods United's continued interference in the situation is jeopardising our chances. We have been forced to contact them on this matter, and are still awaiting a reply, which will no doubt be rude, aggressive and typical of the organization. Ingrates.

6) 6) The detention is going ahead as far as we are aware. We are planning correspondence with Mr Potter beforehand, to ensure Mr Weasley is prepared.

7) 7) Diary Extract 2-

                She's really cuddly

Just a little something to keep us going. He has hugged her.

To--- The Hopeless Romantic Society, The Manager,

                                                                                   It has been brought to our attention that you have been in correspondence with Mr Potter with regards to Mr Weasley. We would like to remind you that this is in violation of the code of conduct, and any further correspondence between Mr Potter and yourselves **WILL** be reported to the Ministry. You are cheating.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

To--- PureBloods United, The Chairman,

                                                                Tattle-Tale. Goody- Goody. Snitch. You run to the Ministry, see if we care. We're going to win. And who are you to call us cheats? You tried to make him feel guilty about the friendship- trio- thing. Now **THAT** is underhand. So take that, and shove it up your over-sized pure blood arse.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Just so you know, the organizations are going crazy over this pathetic little upcoming detention you've got. Merlin only knows why, it's not like you've done anything before, why the hell would you do anything now?

Right?

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Here we go. It's here. The biggie. The one you've been gearing up for. The detention. The detention where you will actually DO something about your feeling for Ms Granger, right? You wont just stare at her will you? Because, this is the NEW Ron Weasley. The New, able- to- hug- Hermione Ron. So now, all you've got to do is go for it. And all that is left for us to do, from all the committee here, is to wish you all the luck in the world. Not that you will need it. (We hope).

Many Thanks for the countless days of fantastically far- fetched nonsensical romanticisms you have provided us with. You truly are a special case.

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Special case of what? Severe delusions?

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

NEXT CHAPTER—The Detention we've all been waiting for!

RR please.

Cinderella x


	6. Part 6

Dear Professor Snape,

                                    We are writing in the hope that you will assist us in the matter of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. We were wondering, if it would be possible, could you please have them sit their detentions in different rooms? We would be most grateful, as we are trying to keep them as far away from each other as possible, plus, if they're not together, there definitely won't enjoy the detention at all will they?

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

                                             Please could you ensure that Mr Weasley and Ms Granger attend their detention in the same room? We have been informed PureBloods United have been attempting to persuade Prof. Snape to separate them. Being the wise wizard you are, you can surely see our predicament?

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely.

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

**Severus,**

**               Please would you be so kind as to make sure Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger both attend their detention in the same room?**

**Thank you, **

**Albus.**

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            What can we say?  What is there left to say? I feel actions speak louder than words, in this case, YOUR actions.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We are unsure what to write. We are, in effect, speechless. We feel we have no reason to correspond with you any more.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Holy crap.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We regret to inform you, you will no longer be filed under 'Classics.' We do not feel there is a section suitable for your actions this evening.

Many Thanks,

Your Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

PS- We did NOT see that coming.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            Oh Dear God. What Just Happened?

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

Dear Mr Weasley,

                            We are writing with one question in mind… What are you going to do with our information pack now? Please reply as soon as possible.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

To--- The Hopeless Romantic Society, The Manager,

                                                                                    Here are the papers you sent me earlier in the week. I don't think they're really any use anymore are they? Taking tonight's events into account. I think you should stop owling Ron now.

Yours Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

Dear Diary,

                 We had the detention. I… don't really know what to write at the moment. I'm gonna go talk to Harry, then I'll come back, maybe I'll know what to put then ok?

Ron.

Dear Diary,

                  I DID NOT JUST DO THAT. I… can't believe did that. I told Harry, and he just stared at me for about five minutes without saying anything. Then-

**"YOU DID WHAT?"**

I nearly crapped myself, he yelled so suddenly. And I had to explain it again. Which wasn't so good. I suppose I should write down what happened shouldn't I? That's the point of a diary. Ok-

We went down to the dungeons right? And Snape goes- "Granger, get in that dungeon, Weasley, you come in here." And I was thinking, "What the hell? Snape normally just shoves everyone into his room, and leaves it at that. Why is he splitting us up?" so then, just as Mione's walking into her room, and I'm getting ready to argue, Dumbledore's phoenix- Fawkes, I think, - zooms past my head, and drops a note on Snape. And Hermione's stopped, to watch Fawkes, and Snape's unfolding this note, and he reads it within ten seconds, and out of the blue, just goes-

"Granger, come in my room as well please."

Then he sweeps off, looking like a bulldog with a nettle up its arse. And we just follow him, thinking WHAAAAT???

So we sit down, and I swear, my hearts going AT IT. It was THIS close to bursting out, no joke.

Snape made us pickle some toad eyes. Nice. Really nice. And we had to sort through which ones had already gone rotten and weren't of any use. You could tell how, because of the fact that they absoFUCKINGlutely reeked. Great huh? The totally perfect romantic atmosphere, isn't it? Just perfect for declaring your love. I DON'T THINK.

Hang on; Dean wants something- I think Harry might have told him. Great.

Back now. Anyway, what was I explaining? Oh yeah-

We're getting down and dirty with the toad eyes (dear god) and then who should walk in but the Ferret himself, slime boy extraordinaire, Draco Malfoy.

"Professor, im so sorry to bother you, but Professor McGonagall just took twenty points from Slytherin, which I feel was completely unfair. Could you go and talk to her?"

Urgh. The sliminess.

Snape glides his way out, looking demented as ever, while Malfoy just stands there smirking away. And that's when it starts-

**"How's the detention going Mudblood?"**

And she doesn't even reply! She just carries on going through the bloody eyes! So I look up, and he just smirks away.

"How's the family Weasley? You managed to get a second bedroom yet?"

And THEN Hermione decides to speak.

**"Go away Malfoy."**

She said it really calmly to, without looking up. Classy.

And he just comes back with some shit about her family.

"Why? What are you gonna do? Tell your parents? Who by the way are totally not safe. You know muggle attacks have started up again? How's the family Granger? They've not been cursed into oblivion yet?"

I actually cannot believe how low that guy can go. I looked over at her, and she's actually fighting back crying. She's gonna cry! He actually wants to stand there and watch while she cries. The scum.

Yeah, but somehow, she manages to hold back, and just carries on with the eyes. (Why? Why eyes? Snape is one twisted little fuck, I swear.) And Malfoy steps forward. He's coming closer… what sort of idiot is he?

One minute, Seamus' woken up, he wants to hear what happened…

Yeah, so, Malfoy comes over, leans across the table, and says-

"You know something Granger? I don't mean to be the voice of doom, but my dad's been mentioning "Those Grangers" quite a bit recently. Wonder what he's up to tonight?"

I flipped.

I've not actually properly hit someone before in my life. You'd think so, with all my brothers. But, no. Wrestling and stuff yeah, but a full- on punch? I can't remember doing that ever… I don't know what happened. I didn't even look at her before I did it. I just did. I sorta did a little weird jump up, and swung at him. And he went FLYING. It was bloody brilliant!

Then Snape walks in.

And Malfoy's slammed into the desk, and his nose is bleeding. Fuck knows how he can bleed, but hey, I guess he must have a heart of some kind.

**"WHAT IS GOING ON?"**

Oooh. It wasn't good.

**"WEASLEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! YOU INSOLENT-"**

**"HE WAS THREATENING HERMIONE'S FAMILY!"**

**"I WILL NOT HAVE A STUDENT OF MINE-"**

**"HE WAS THREATENING HER FAMILY!"**

**"WEASLEY IF YOU DO NOT CONTROL-"**

I walked out. I actually walked out of a lesson with Snape. I know what you're thinking- Holy shit… What the fuck, you're a book, you don't think.

She came after me. She came running out of the dungeons, and up the stairs, and into the corridor, and she swings me around.

**"What the heck was that?"**

Well, I was a little offended to say the least. She could have shown a little gratitude.

**"What the hell are you on about? He was going on about your parents!"**

"It's Malfoy Ron! You know not to let him bait you! You always manage to hold it back! What's been going on recently? The other day, and now this! What-"

**"IT'S 'COS IT'S YOU! I GET MAD 'COS IT'S YOU!"**

Bad move, I know. She just stood there. She carried on staring for ages; my ears were probably bright red when she spoke.

**"What's that supposed to mean?"**

So I did it. I did it. I didn't even answer her question. God, I'm such a klutz.

The one thing that Romantic Thingy Company didn't tell me to do- I did that. I finally did it.

I kissed her.

And you wanna know the weirdest part?

She kissed me back.

Ron.

A/N- that was the penultimate chapter by the way. The last one should be up V. soon.

Review people!

xxx


	7. Part 7

A/N- **OH MY GOOD GOD**. I posted up Part 6; go off on a shopping spree, then next time I log on, I've got 17 reviews! LMAO! This is fantastic, I'm lovin' you guys! I feel I should do thank You's before the story finishes, because otherwise, I'll feel evil. So--- A HUGE, MASSIVE thanks/danke/merci to-

-Nerwen Faelvirin

-PeaceLovePERCUSSION

-lil gt wanna b Lily

-Rinoa

-CrimsonScorpio

-Lindoriae

-xxmuseclioxx

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-bluehoax

-TRF-Chan

-JuicyJuice

-Cara

-Eli

-Fireblade K'Chona

-TroubleMaker

-Skins Thunderbomb

-cherzybaby

-shiny silver girl

-echome7

-Donna Irene Mohr

-Smudged

-tiggieotoo

-Luthien-Anwaman

-Tanya J Potter

-Kali Lestrange

-goddess of darkness3

-Rockchick 1232

-Sarah Embry

-Wolverine is Hott

-Mayura Nacht

-Jellyman

-y.

-80088

-xxx-green-ajah-xxx

-rrrrrrr

-point

-giggle

-Zmedlebum

-FallenAngelOfInnocence

-Brooke

-Dina C.

-Line-from Denmark

-Amelie

-Emma Victoria Arden

-Snowhite

-MissBrooke06

-pikuchan

-mystically-mad

-Vinese

-candygoddess

-Ms. Hermione's Laughter

-Queen: )B

-Zero

-loudnproud223

-Bunnys R Evil

-NoName

-iDohavealife

-UnderAppreciated

-KissingQueen18

-Veelagrl9

-OrioCookie

-Toreen

-Weasley is my King

-xxatitudegal11xx

-mascaret

-Ben

-Quiteona

-fra

-sg360girl

-demonicmonkies

Phew. I think that's everyone. If I've missed you out, I'm V. sorry, but it's late, I'm tired, and it was a hell of a lot of names to go through! I'm very, very grateful to everyone for all the lovely reviews. Hope you enjoy the last chappie.

* * *

**PART 7 **

To--- PureBloods United, The Chairman,

Just a quick letter. You probably already know this, due to your incessant stalking, but Hermione and me are now going out. This means your letters are a waste of parchment. And, I hate to break it to you, but they always have been. Don't bother writing to me again.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * *

MEMO 

**TO**: The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

**CC**: The Reality Check Corporation

The Love- Hate Relationship Office

PureBloods United

**FROM**: The Hopeless Romantic Society

HAAAAAAAAAAA. We win. LOOOOSERS. L- O- S- E- R- S.

* * *

To--- The Hopeless Romantic Society, The Manager,

I am writing to you for the first, and probably (hopefully) last, time. I owe you quite a bit, taking into consideration that I probably wouldn't have told 'Mione if you hadn't… **harassed** me so much. So thank you very much. But please, god, just… **stop owling me**. God almighty.

Once again, Many Thanks,

Ronald Weasley.

* * *

To--- Chairman Of The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

Enclosed is your information pack, incomplete. I'm sorry, but I don't really feel I need it. At all. Thanks anyway.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * *

To--- The Reality Check Corporation, The Director,

Up yours.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * *

Dear Professor Minerva McGonagall,

We are writing to you in relation to the incident involving Mr Weasley and Mr Malfoy in Professor Snape's dungeon.

We have reason to believe the 100 points deducted by Professor Snape were, in fact, taken unfairly. Enclosed is a transcript of that evening's events. We trust you will make the morally correct decision.

Yours Sincerely,

The National Guild Of Professors Who Behave Rather Strictly, But Really Are Very Nice And Fair People. (T.N.G.o.P.W.B.R.S.B.R.A.V.N.a.F.P)

* * *

**TRANSCRIPT OF EVENTS (SEE ABOVE.)**

**PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLWING EVENTS OCCURRED AFTER PROF. SNAPE HAD EXITED THE CLASSROOM. **

**Draco Malfoy: How's the detention going Mudblood?**

**Hermione Granger: (silence)**

**Draco Malfoy: How's the family Weasley? You managed to get a second bedroom yet?**

**Hermione Granger: Go away Malfoy. (please note this was said very quietly and not aggressively AT ALL)**

**Draco Malfoy: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell your parents? Who by the way are totally not safe. You know muggle attacks have started up again? How's the family Granger? They've not been cursed into oblivion yet?**

**Draco Malfoy: You know something Granger? I don't mean to be the voice of doom, but my dad's been mentioning "Those Grangers" quite a bit recently. Wonder what he's up to tonight?**

**ONLY THEN DID MR WEASLEY PROCEED TO WALLOP THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF MR MALFOY.**

**GOOD LUCK IN YOUR DECISION, AND BEST WISHES.**

* * *

Severus,

Minerva recently received a letter and transcript from T.N.G.o.P.W.B.R.S.B.R.A.V.N.a.F.P. After intensive reading and discussion over the confrontation between Misters Malfoy and Weasley, I have decided, with all politeness, to ask you to revoke your deduction of points from Gryffindor. I trust you will take my request into account.

Thank You,

Albus.

* * *

Minerva,

If Severus hasn't given the points back by this evening, could you please award them back yourself? And throw in an extra fifty, in celebration of whatever happened in the corridor after Mr Weasley walked out of Professor Snape's class. Sir Cadogan, as the only witness, informs me it was- "Rather jolly damn well good and not a bloody moment too soon"

Thanks,

Albus.

* * *

To---The Association Of Magical Teenagers,

I am writing to let you know I chose not to read your last letter. I threw it into the fire. Also, I am letting you know, I am no longer bothered about your opinions on my, rather bloody good at the moment, life. In the last few weeks, you have assisted me in enlarging my inferiority complex, and so on. Although I am eternally grateful for this, I would like you to remove me from your mailing list, pronto. To finish this letter, I just thought I'd let you know, tomorrow, I am going out with the most fantastically amazing girl ever, who by the way, is now my girlfriend.

Anyway, that's all for EVER. Write back? If you can afford to waste the parchment on the Gryffindor fireplace, go right ahead.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * *

Dear Mr Potter,

Do you remember when Ginny Weasley sent you that Valentine's card? Wasn't that cute? Were you not, just a teensy bit flattered? She's very pretty, isn't she?

This has been a little hint from the:

H.H.F.H.W.R.D.N.A.H

(Handy Hints For Heroes Who Really Do Need Another Half)

* * *

To--- The Love- Hate Relationship Office,

So I won't go in 'Classics' No biggie. Oh, but can I remind you, you mentioned James and Lily Potter were in 'Classics', and they ended up marrying. So you do count Love-Love relationships sometimes, right? No bother, I just thought I'd point it out. You can leave me alone now.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

You make a point. So we have made the unanimous decision to situate you in 'Classics'. There we go. Along with the greats, including Lily and James Potter, Sirius Black and Anya Williamson, sit the names- Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Congratulations.

It has been interesting.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love-Hate Relationship Office.

* * *

Dear Mr Longbottom,

Just to let you know, your previous rival for 'Most Promising Potential Candidate', Ronald Weasley, has since procured a girlfriend, which is in violation of the code. You're back on top Sir!

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

PS- Although, you are giving us reason to worry… you seem to have befriended Ms Lovegood recently, and we have already received a Memo from the National Trust Of Unusual Couples. Please consider this a friendly caution. We wouldn't want to lose our best candidate in years!

* * *

Dear Diary,

Ron and I are going to Hogsmeade today. Harry's said we can use his invisibility cloak. We're going shopping, and then for a walk…

He doesn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Love Hermione. x

* * *

Dear Miss Weasley,

Now that your brother and Ms Granger are together, Mr Potter will probably be found alone in the common room, while the happy couple are off on dates and such. ALONE. Wanting to talk to somebody. Somebody who he gets on well with. Hmm?

Think about it.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * *

A/N- Thank you reviewers, I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. So for one last time, please can you review?

Cinderella x


End file.
